Its been another pretty hectic week or so. After getting our oldest to school last Monday, my husband and I took our youngest to her one month check up.
She hadn’t gained any weight from the last visit and had in fact lost even more. So he admitted her to the hospital. She was nowhere near or even remotely close to her birth weight.
It was a different hospital than the one we delivered at. The nurses were all amazing. If I had to pick just once as a favorite I wouldn’t be able to. They were all amazing in helping with her feedings, breastfeeding and latch issues, throw up issues, to just about everything.
I spent a lot of time crying with feeling like a complete failure to my daughter. It still feels like somehow its all my fault she wasn’t gaining weight. Though there were issues with the breastfeeding side it had to do with her latch and a muscle in her mouth. Its not fully developed yet (they said its normal in babies induced early) so she can’t properly suck and when shes trying its just to hard and its whats tiring her out. The nipple guard might have allowed her to at least get a latch.. it was still too much work for her.
So with that said when we were supplementing with formula and I was also giving bottles of breast milk… all of it was basically pointless. Delilah was using too many calories to try and eat it than what she was eating. So it was a work out with no reward for her. She ended up losing weight during weighted feedings when she should have gained. Even when using a bottle.
So we’ve changed the bottle type so it basically just pours into her mouth. This was figured out after trying to syringe feed, pour cup feed, and so on.
They also put her on a double fortified premie formula and she was getting her breastmilk fortified whenever I managed to pump enough for a feeding (thank god they saved all milk and could add it all together to make a meal!),
She also is naturally very cold. Even with additional support for heat it was hard to get her above a temperature of 97.2 . So she was also burning up even more calories to try and get warm even with blankets and other layers of clothes.
So she did start gaining weight in the hospital. She also does NOT have an allergy to milk. All of her throwing up was a result of how she had been eating, struggling to eat, and choking down air in her attempted feedings.
So I am now eating milk/dairy and trying my damndest to keep my milk supply going. She can nurse from time to time from me but it still tires her out so much. She’s been put on a “she can eat from a bottle or breast” for 30 minutes every 3 hours…
So she gets her minimal 2 oz of special formula, followed by whatever I have pumped for breast milk… and then filled in with more formula until she’s done eating. Then I am letting her wait a bit and when she shows signs of hunger.. she gets the breast to finish her 30 minute feeding.
Delilah is also latching without the nipple guard! It took a few days in the hospital to work on her latch but shes moving in the right direction. I agree with the dr this isn’t a major concern right now. Once shes at a normal weight and healthy, we can always work on her latch and transition her to nurse at the breast. Until then, its just more important that she’s eating and gaining weight.
I am still pumping like crazy… and really hope when my electric pump arrives in the mail it will make the milk come out… cause as of now.. I am trying really hard to not cry over getting only 5 ml or 15 ml per a 15 minute pumping session. I got more milk with the hospital grade pump when at the hospital (see picture) but it wasn’t a ton more.
30 ml is about an ounce.. and I am by no means really making enough for her when its just the pump taking it out. So it takes a few tries over several hours to just make one 2 oz bottle.
I just want her eating and gaining weight.. Her last weight check out of the hospital had her at 7 lb and 13 oz. That is 6 ounces above her birth weight.
I am really soo damn happy that finally her weight is going up and shes doing a ton better on throwing up all her meals. She still does it from time to time but its nowhere near as bad as it was for the first month of her throwing up everything! Now its just a little bit here or there and sometimes a whole feeding. 🙁